Who would have thought that I would miss it?...
But there is so much comfort, walking out into the hall in the middle of the night and knowing that you have to wear something, because somebody could be there; and most of the time somebody was actually there, either one of the girls or one of the others sprawled out in front of the television.  sometimes four oclock in the morning was the best time for introductions, other times i didn't even want to walk out of my room.  Fuck it.  I'll pee tomorrow morning, for fear of having to socialize.  Then you suck it up and walk out and find yourself conversing with the most interesting person you have ever encountered until 7 oclock in the morning.  Soon, everyone is out talking too.  sleep: a foreign concept.
it's amazing how much you can both love and hate the people you live with.  "friends," but complete strangers until you live with them.  some nights we played nintendo.  I kick ass at Mario Brothers.  other days we'd just whine about the work, or about our futures - well, I just listened.  i've learned this much in my little life: there is time to make big decisions and at 21 you probably shouldn't.  everyone always expected me to do well, and when i told them that i did no one was surprised.  fuck, i almost slit my wrists for that one, but they weren't impressed. my family.  i loved the support group, my cheerleaders.
i begged that it would be over and i would be here but, look at that, sometime's you miss what's gone.  Now, we have nights where we sit around tables throughout New York and it's as if we're in our home again talking.  this time we have to give each other updates.  crazy shit.

so much to say about this now that i'm at a different stage: completely satisfied and content with the past four years, both academically and socially.  maturity? perhaps.  i'm certainly happier now, where i am.  all that is left to say is that those were good times...