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Nick: SpAc3balL
Oggetto: WHO INVENT THE NUTELL?
Data: 12/6/2005 20.28.13
Visite: 86
Once upon a time, many, many, many, ma'na cifra of many years ago, at the
beginning of the initiation of the mond, there was the caos. One day, God
(God is the name d'art of Dio), God, who was disoccupated, had a folgorant
idea and so God created the Nutell. And God saw that the Nutell was good,
very good, very very good, good 'na cifra. The mangiation of God was long,
He manged one million of barattols of Nutell sfrutting the fact that God has
not a Mamm that strills if you sbaff too much Nutell... And after this
mangiation, God invented the Water Closed Run, the cors in the gabinet, and
some Nutell's derivates like the red bubbons, the panz, the cellulit and
ceter, and ceter. After di which (dopodiché) he invented Adamo ed Eva and
all the paradise and he diss to Adamo and Eva: "Now you have all the
Paradise, you can do everything, very tutt: you have the permission to eat,
to drink, to kiss, to scop; nothing lavor, nothing affit, nothing concors of
impiegats, nothing cod alla post, nothing IRPEF, ILOR. Only very ozious
life: television, telenovels, football, moviols, process of Monday, appell
of Tuesday, cassazion of Wednesday, and ceter, and ceter. You have gratis
restaurants, cinemas, theaters, all the Paradise is yours: air-conditioned,
autonom riscaldament, moquette, parquett, tresset, bidet, omelette, eccet,
eccet.... "There's just one thing, remember, in tutt the Paradise just one
thing absolutely prohibited. Come, come to me in the giardin: this is "the
Nocciol", the alber of the Nutell. Only this alber of the Nutell is
prohibited, because I like the Nutell very much, very very much, much'na
cifra and I want all the Nutell, tutt the Nutell for me." During the prim
temps, Adamo and Eva were very happy. Adamo said: "What a cool! ('Cool' is
not in Italian 'freddo', no, 'What a cool' means 'Che cul') All the Paradise
is nostr!" And everyday, ognigiorn, they discovered something new. A lot of
scoperts, many scoperts, many many scoperts, 'na cifra di scoperts. One day
the scopert of the hot water, one day the scopert of the spaghettis, one day
the cigarettes, and ceter, and ceter. But one day, a trist day, a very very
trist day, trist'na cifra, Adamo and Eva fecer the scopert of the first
colazion. And after the scopert of the cappuccin, the scopert of the aranch
succ, the scopert of the cornetts, they understood that something was
mancant. "Eva!" said Adamo "Don't you think that qualcos is mancant here,
proprio here, 'ncopp this fett?" "Second me" Eva risposed "ncopp the fett
you have to metter burr and marmelade". "No, no Eva, you know that the
marmelade schif myself. I want 'ncopp this fett something very particular,
very very particular, particular 'na cifra. What do you think about the
Nutell?" "No, Adamo you are scording that the Signor said that's vietat!
"Yes, I remember, but only a little assaggiation, don't succed nothing!" And
Adamo sces in the cortil where the alber of the Nutell was and he pres a
small barattol and spalmed the brown cream on the fett and assagged the
Nutell. Adamo and Eva don't ebber the time to exprimer the godiment that the
tuons and fulmins apparved in the ciel and one voice said: "Potevamo stupirv
you with special effects, but I'm God, not Fantagod! Adamo, Eva, come here!
I'm very incazzed with you, very very incazzed, incazzed 'na cifra! How did
you permit to tocc the Nutell? Didn't you remember that it was prohibited?"
"Cazz!" esclamed Adamo "It was prohibited! Oh, sorry, God, I'm very very
sorry, sorry 'na cifra, God, I really really was completely scordat..."
"Don't do that fint tont, Adamo, I'm God, I can see everything, very tutt,
and I know that you and the woman have deliberatament assaggiated the
Nutell. So you have a big punhition, a very castig for your peccat. But
siccom I'm sconfinatly good, you can choose, you have two scelts: "Scelt
number 1: nothing Nutell for ever and ever in the secols of the secols,
amen!" "Nooo!" Eva was piagnucoling "It's a thing very tragic, very very
tragic, tragic 'na cifra!" "Aspett!" said God "Don't be frettolous woman..
Scelt number 2: you can take the Nutell, no problem, let's prend, prend, but
for you is the cacciation out of the Paradise. You will have to lavorar with
the sudor of your front, you will zapp the terr, you'll have mal of schien
and, like this don't bastass, everytime you will mang Nutell, the
malediction of the brufols, of the mal of panch, of the cacarel will be
cadent on you." "Alè!" esclaimed Adamo "Thank you God, thank you, we don't
interess the cacciation dal Paradise, the important is to have the Nutell!
Goodbye! Ciao, ciao!"
And so Adamo and Eva were cacciated and this original peccat and this
malediction cadded on lor and on lor discendents, and on the discendents of
the discendents. Infact, tutt'ogg, you can veder in the pubblicity all the
ragazz that per aver one fett of pan and Nutell they scalan the mountains
they stay in a tend al fredd and al gel and ceter, and ceter. But the final
pensier of tutti noi is "It's meglio faticar and soffrir with the Nutell
piuttost che the Terrestr Paradise senz the Nutell." E here finisch the
story!
